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I could use a good idea

  • Mar. 29th, 2009 at 7:45 AM
Columbo
I was reading through my notes for my third-in-the-trilogy story, and I have hit a road block. I want to show (rather than tell) how sensing other's emotions has had an impact on my MMC. I can tell easily enough, but it's hard to show it.

I'm trying to think of actions that would indicate reactions to people, without repeating things like blinking, staring, wincing, and so forth. I have him blink too much, I think. Or wince. I'm really tired of him wincing, actually--he's not the wincing type!

So, my writerly friends out there--can you help me with a few other ways for him to show his reactions? I don't want to just write "He felt her surprise" or He sensed the other's anger."

I'm so fail here....

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]mindseas wrote:
Mar. 29th, 2009 02:31 pm (UTC)
Perhaps he could raise an eyebrow? Or the corner of his lip might curl? Or perhaps his hand might unconsciously signal what he picked up?
[info]carolhelga wrote:
Mar. 30th, 2009 12:24 am (UTC)
Ooh, good suggestions. Yes, I can see him raising an eyebrow, absolutely. Not sure about the lip curl, unless the emotion he was sensing is distasteful. Hmmm.

Thanks for some ideas!
[info]wintersweet wrote:
Mar. 29th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
He edged away a little bit when he saw her jaw clench ... or he pulled back, or he tensed ... ?
[info]carolhelga wrote:
Mar. 30th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC)
Oooooh, an avoidance mechanism for the whole body. Yeah, that would work sometimes. Great idea, thanks!
[info]wintersweet wrote:
Mar. 30th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC)
*feels helpful* :D
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )